I was worried ’bout forgetting so I tattooed it on my chest.
-The Weeks, Brother in the Night
I really love the song Brother in the Night by The Weeks. I love a whole lot about it, but that lyric above is something I’ve been thinking about recently. Why? I got a chest tattoo. Wait, just kidding.
No, that lyric makes me think about my helmet and, specifically, the side plates on my G4. I wonder if people notice that I still rock side plates from the team that holds the distinction of being far and away the most miserable experience of my skydiving career, a team experience that completely killed my interest in formation skydiving and 4way belly. Surprise! Mostly people don’t notice at all. Or if they do, the significance is lost on them. A very few people have asked me about it.
So why do I still rock a helmet and side plates from a team that taught me a lot in the same way that touching a hot stove teaches you never to do that again? Wait, I just explained right there. For me, choosing to use this helmet every skydive is my version of ‘tattooing it on my chest’. Every single jump I’m reminded of something incredibly important, something I learned from that team.
That helmet reminds me to be very, very intentional about who I spend my time with.
Why this blog now? Because I am actually on a 4way FS team again, Kombucha Punch. Wait, didn’t I just say I had called it quits on belly? Oh yes, I did. But I got an offer I couldn’t refuse; I got an offer to spend a handful of weekends training this year with some great friends, working collaboratively and thoughtfully with each other to improve as skydivers. And by that, I mean, I get on a team that actively cares about each other.
Before I had the offer to be on XPG4, I’d put together a 4way FS team with one of my previous teammates on Stockholm Syndrome. We carefully selected the other 2 and were off to the races. Then I got the invite to try out for XPG4. Because my team really did want what is best for me, they saw XPG4 as an opportunity I couldn’t/shouldn’t pass up. I didn’t quit the team; the guys urged me to go and take the opportunity fate had dropped in my lap because they wanted to see me succeed. So I helped them find my replacement, and we said goodbye.
Fast-forward a bit: XPG4 and I parted ways. I started freeflying and moved to CA. Then I got a phone call from the team. My substitute had moved on and my slot was open again. Did I want my slot back? Hell yes, I did. I wanted to spend time with these peeps.
Our rule for scheduling was simple: Whoever could do the least, that’s what we did. I’m on a VFS team and chasing P19 dreams. Bob, our point, is heavily into tandems. Eric, our OC is trying to get his AFFI rating this year and is coaching a number of CO 4way teams. Ian is full up to the brim too with other teams and big way commitments. Our team is booked. But we decided that doing this team in a way that kept everyone sane was the only way we wanted to do it.
In the end, we’ll have 4 camps. I went into the first one in a bad head space. Due to other complicated goings-on in my life, I didn’t even know if I wanted to do the other camps. I was just in a bummed-out place. But in expressing that to Eric, he said “I want you to be happy. If this team isn’t going to make you happy this season, I understand. I want to fly with you. But more importantly, I want you to be happy.” There is something so freeing, knowing that you can truly express yourself to your teammates without worry of judgement.
After that camp, I got my head on straight and realized, of course, that I wanted to continue. We’ve had 2 camps since and I’ve loved them. Our flying is improving. We’re moving more in sync and communicating better. We work through problems and hiccups as a team, being supportive and open and honest. We come to solutions that work for everyone because we care about each other and I think that shows in our flying. Supporting each other, lifting each other up, will get us farther in the end.
So how’s that working for us? Pretty well. We’ve had a couple come-to-jesus moments. I’ve struggled being too torn across disciplines to feel like I’m giving this team my all, and I’ve recommitted to visualizing and meditation to get me competition ready for Nationals (and sworn off drinking until after Nationals as well, to keep my head clear and keep me getting good sleep). We’ve had to talk about productive ways to communicate frustrations about jumping keys. We’ve debated strongly about what exits to take to Nationals and how we handle our camps to make sure everyone feels like we’re getting the most benefit in the short time we have. (1’s and 20’s? More creeping? Quads? Extra tunnel?) But we have all these discussions with the team in mind. And you know what? We’re having fun. Team goal number 1: Have fun.
We do have some decent goals for ourselves for Nationals too. I’d love to see us come away with zero busts because clean flying is a point of pride for me. I want double digit scores on the board every round. I want no exploded exits, which means we’re probably only taking out a couple of randoms, instead of exiting the gamut. I want to see us achieving a 14 point average too. Lofty isn’t the right word, but I’d say these goals will push us sufficiently.
I’m grateful for these folks every day and I will say it again and again to people joining a team: Be smart about who you choose to spend your time with. My mentor, Christy Frikken, once described her teammates as ‘Ride or Die’ and I’m taking that to heart. These are my Ride-or-Die Peeps. Kombucha Punch 4eva.
(Really, ditto for my 4way VFS team, The Flying V. I love those ladies a lot and I just ran out of blog space. They’ll get a whole ‘nother blog to themselves sometime.)
[This is v2 of this blog. In v1, I realized I was a little dickish in some of my phrasing. So if you were offended, I’m sorry.]