Dear Abby,
Abby, I’m in a pickle. I’m about to tear out my hair in sheer frustration with one of the jumpers at our dropzone and I can’t figure out what to do. Because I don’t see the value of calling this person out specifically, and because we all have met at least one skydiver like this in our career, I will call this person Average Joey. Average Joey is a local jumper that has 260 jumps. I know this, because I asked Average Joey today, after hearing that Average Joey was downsizing to a Sabre 3 120.
I admit that I did not immediately hear the warning bells. Because my brain is slow. Because 260 jumps was probably back in early 2017 for me. Because, honestly, I wasn’t listening that closely because I don’t like to stick my nose in the canopy affairs of others. But my noggin ground through the numbers and I thought, “Hey.. that doesn’t seem right. That seems pretty small for that number of jumps…”
Let me preface this with 1. I was and still am incredibly conservative canopy downsizer 2. Some people can progress fairly rapidly through canopy IF they are focused on training canopy. If I saw this person mostly doing hop-n-pops, getting a lot of coaching from trusted mentors in canopy progression, maybe I would be less concerned. (Even still, that seems fairly speedy to be on a 120. Yes, yes, the Sabre 3 isn’t particularly aggressive. But Idk. 260 jumps on a 120 at all just sounds ill-advised, rash.)
And so I spoke up. Because, idk. I feel like I have enough experience that I should say something. Why? Idk. Because I’d like to not see people hurt themselves. Because I’d like to not see our DZ develop a safety record and a bad reputation. (Our DZ has a very good representation for Safety and Skill, I believe.) Because I’d like for the sport of skydiving to avoid any undue attention from stupid people doing stupid things to hurt themselves, end up in the news, and cause the FAA to look at us askew. I just don’t want the FAA to have any reason to make skydiving more expensive or more of a hassle. I just don’t want a knucklehead with an ego and 260 jumps to ruin my day at the DZ by pounding into the ground on a wing they shouldn’t be flying. Then we have to call the ambulance, and the jumping stops, and the mood is really soured. Don’t fucking harsh my buzz on a good jump day by getting hurt, you idiot.
Quick note: A lot of people get hurt. It happens. Some of it is unavoidable; some of it is avoidable. I’m not really talking about the getting hurt part today, more the part before that when people are trying to help you not get hurt.
Ugh. I was so put off and annoyed by Average Joey’s opinion-shopping. Because he walked up to Richo saying, “Oh I’ll definitely be needing canopy coaching, now that I’m on this Sabre 3 120”, but then went on to completely ignore both of us when we expressed concern.
Dear Abby, this is what I want to do about this situation.
I want to go back and say nothing. I want let him discuss this with Richo. I want to not speak a word, while quietly making note of whatever stupid color his canopy is So I can stay the fuck away from him in the sky, then mutter, “Saw that one coming” when he does something dumb. I want to let this issue soar by like a puffy cloud on the breeze in a blue sky. Floating on by, not my problem.
I want to save myself from the mental needling I will put my own brain through afterwards: “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Do I even have any authority here to say something? Do I have any responsibility to? Do I even have the experience to say something? What do I even know.” And then I have to remind myself, that no. I do know what the fuck I’m talking about. I have so much experience, and a pretty respectable amount of skill in two disciplines, plus a lot of events and skydives under my belt that have given me a breath of experience. Also, all my travel and time in skydiving has given me the opportunity to interact with a lot of really smart, talented skydivers and I have tried my best to absorb what they teach me. So, yeah, I don’t want to engage with Average Joey and his moronic decision because I don’t want to let my own brain run that hamster wheel. I have better things to do with my time.
And, I want to avoid having to steel myself for being ignored, not listened to, and frustrated. I can’t help but having this sinking feeling that sometimes, in the sport, I don’t get the respect and recognition I would if I were a dude. And every instance where I put myself out there to say, “Hey, I, with my experience, don’t think you’re making a good/safe/smart/effective decision” and I get ignored, my brain hops on the merry-go-round of Am-I-Imagining-Things-Or-Is-It-Good-Old-Sexism. Whether I want to or not, I let situations like this, where my advice is ignored by dum-dums like Average Go, go to my head and I find myself asking, “Do I actually just really suck at this?”. So, yeah, I really don’t like expending extra energy doling out advice these days unless I know I’ve got a willing audience.
So, yeah. What I really wanted to do was zip my lip.
However, Abby, Unfortunately, I did something different.
I stupidly engaged in this conversation. Why? Average Joey wasn’t talking to me. He was talking to Richo. The canopy coach at the DZ. Why did I get involved? Idk. Because sometimes I feel bad that Richo has to fight so many safety battles. I feel like I can step in and bat for him sometimes, especially when someone is lobbing right over the plate for me.
Also, I got involved because I feel compelled to try to keep people from doing something dumb. I can’t help it. I coach people on exits a lot at the mock-up, without them asking it. If I see someone walking 4way in a way that’s going to screw up their skydive, I tell them. I just can’t help myself. I am weird cross between a know-it-all and Midwest-helpful. It’s annoying.
Anyway, Average Joey went on to tell Richo and I why he believes this is a reasonable decision. He also informed us that it would be unreasonable if he were to jump the Sabre 3 120 with weights, so he’s not doing that! (Look, he’s soooooo reasonable. Clearly thought this through.) I gathered from his demeanor that he just doesn’t think it’s possible that he could mess this up. I tried to give him examples of when me, Pita, and Richo had all gotten to a 120. (I think 700+ jumps for all of us.) It’s not even like he’s a tiny guy where he’s so light that he needs a small canopy. I tried asking behind the reasoning. (He was bored with his Sabre-whatever-150.) But I had a load to pack for so I didn’t get much farther with the questioning. Plus, I was pretty much ready to give up.
Later in the day, he got down from his first hop-n-pop on it and said to me, “See? I didn’t die.” First, I am so proud of myself for not completely losing my shit at what a smug thing to say. Second, I definitely lost some of my shit. More than likely, when you are the only person doing a hop-n-pop on a day with a steady breeze, you will probably have a nice landing. You are totally and completely ready to face any challenges that come along with that new canopy because SO MANY REASONS. You are probably pulling high – you probably got out right over top of the DZ and there’s no chance you’re landing off – you don’t have any canopy traffic – you don’t have the adrenaline and stoke fogging your brain after a really sweet freefall – you will probably have a pretty buttery opening because you’re not at terminal velocity – you are focusing on the canopy portion of the skydive without other distractions – you have a headwind. Yeah dude, for sure you could have messed this up on your first one but the deck was as stacked in your favor as it is ever going to be.
That is not the situation to worry about. The times you’ll really know if you’ve bitten off more than you can chew is when you’re under less ideal circumstances: Is there no wind? Or is it downwind even? Is it cross wind? Did you have to pull a little low because there was a gross break-off thing? Was there more canopy traffic in the pattern than normal, or someone did something weird? Are you hungry, or thirsty, or have to pee, or stressed, or tired, or distracted? I’ve mentioned it before, but this is a good example of where Richo’s $10 of focus example works again. You have $10 to spend of focus and you can spend it however you want. But in a hop-n-pop, you can spend most all of it on safely landing a canopy. You really are in danger when you have to start spending some of that $10, on freefall, on the fact that you forgot to pee between loads, on the fact that you’re kinda worried about how your meeting with you boss will go Monday. Idk. So yeah, you landed your stupid downsize once on a hop-n-pop. That’s the wrong thing to be worried about.
So Abby, I’ve gone on long enough.
You don’t even actually have to worry about writing back. I think I just needed to blow off some steam. This situation with Average Joey will play out however it plays out. I really hope it goes okay. I don’t want people to get hurt. Also, I really don’t want other people to see him do this and decide to do it too. I just want everyone to be okay going slow in their skydiving progression. Because if you really love skydiving, like if you really love it, you’ll realize you’re a lifer. And there’s no reason to rush. But that’s easy enough for me to say now; I think this month is the decade anniversary of me starting AFF. So, yeah. It’s easy to tell people to slow down now, since I’m apparently a crusty old skydiver now. Yes, that’s a good sign off.
Sincerely yours,
Crusty Old Skydiver